Billie Holiday - I’ll be seeing you
Rainy weather, night cigarette, legs swinging out of the window and a cup of hot tea. Just perfect.
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tall people: if we are walking together please take into consideration my tiny legs. i cant keep up with you. please think of my tiny legs i dont want to be jogging to keep up with your leisurely stroll you TITANS
Just get a pair of roller skates and hang on to my sleeve, we don’t have all day.
The difference is clear
- Feminism: You don't have to shave your legs to be beautiful, but if that's how you want to look, go ahead. It's your leg hair, therefore it's your decision.
- Not feminism: DO NOT SHAVE YOUR LEGS IT'S WHAT THE PATRIARCHY WANTS YOU TO DO, DON'T GIVE IN TO THE WILL OF THE SEXIST PIGS THAT ARE MEN
I can appreciate any horse.
-the legs on a thoroughbred
-the beautiful head of an Arabian
-the feathers of a draft
-the colors of a pinto
-the booty of a quarter horse
-the neck of a hunter
-the cuteness of a pony
-many more.
Every horse is special and I don’t understand why some people cant see it. Just because you’ve never ridden/shown that breed of horse, doesn’t make them a lesser breed.
I used to get mad when men would make jokes about how women’s periods make them irrational, but now I just remember that during Victorian times, a table’s legs were thought to arouse men so they invented table cloths to cover them up so men wouldn’t get erections during dinner
I might cry for no reason but at least I’ve never gotten a BONER for a fucking TABLE
what catfood commercials make feeding your cat look like: *person comes into the kitchen with a smile* *cat licks its lips* *cat snuggles up to their leg softly while purring*
what feeding your cat is actually like: *cat emits loud shrieking meow in anticipation* *you nearly have a deadly accident because your cat excitedly runs between your legs as you walk to the bowl*
see also: *cat puts its head in front of the bowl just as you plop the food out, so it lands on their head*
shout out to all the women who don’t have beautiful skin on their bodies, who have body acne or keratosis pilaris or eczema or psoriasis or lots of pimples on ur butt or lots of ingrown hairs on ur legs or scaly elbows or whatever. You are not alone
It feels like that a lot b/c you almost never see people with severe skin issues post pics of themselves naked and lots of those pics are airbrushed but you know what you are still a motherfucking perfect badass
Walking home in a snowstorm
- 10 seconds in: holy shit it's cold
- 40 seconds: no wind please no
- 1 minute: ok I'm turning no more wind on my face
- 1 minute 2 seconds: sON OF A BITCH THE WIND CHANGED
- 2 minutes 45 seconds: my poor cheeks
- 4 minutes: I can't feel my hands
- 6 minutes: I can't feel my legs holy shit
- 6 minutes 58 seconds: I am gonna die out here?
- 8 minutes: everything is numb except my face
- 8 minutes 10 seconds: face please go numb so I'm not in this hellish pain
- 12 minutes 1 second: oh thank god I'm turning
- 12 minutes 2 seconds: fuck this wind
- 14 minutes: I see a bright light
- 15 minutes 46 seconds: I SEE HOME
- 17 minutes: THANK THE LORD FOR INDOOR HEATING
- Me: at last I can relax....
- Me: wait shit I got homework
sexuality explained
heterosexuality - you’re standing on one leg
homosexuality - you’re standing on the other leg
bisexuality - you’re standing on both legs
pansexuality - you’re lying on the floor
asexuality - you’re levitating
basically, asexuals are magical. This has been a PSA.
perks-of-being-chinese
